I’m chuckling to myself as I sit here looking at this page with nothing but the word “death,” in bold.

It’s a not particularly cheery, arguably morbid sight by definition.

But is it?

We’re so accustomed to seeing death as this scary, almost taboo, dark and looming subject, a mindset that I fundamentally disagree with. Seeing death in a negative light is particularly prevalent in the US, I fear. I admire the cultures that have ways of celebrating and dnormalizing it, like with Día de los Muertos.

Here’s my proposal: acceptance should start right away. If you wait until you’re old to start accepting the fact that you’re going to die, it’s too late.

For one, casting death in a positive light would make grief easier. There’s no denying that the loss of a loved one is a devastating thing down to the core. I’m not minimizing the pain. At the same time, I ask, why hide the elements of joy in an inherently sad thing? Let’s celebrate the lives that were lived. Accepting the fact that everyone dies before someone close to you dies will also make the grief easier to grapple with. I think more people would be able to grow from the experience too because it wouldn’t be such a burden.

I use my acceptance of death as an internal thermometer for my success and happiness in my personal life. I ask myself, “how would I feel if I were to die right now?” Obviously, there’s so much I want to do with my life, and I will greedily take every single second the universe gives me. But when the time comes, whenever that is, I want to die feeling satisfied with the life I’ve lived and grateful for what I did have.

This requires an acceptance of the lack of a guarantee of future events. Do I want to experience the joy of getting married, having kids, building a career? Abso-freaking-lutely. But not getting a chance to experience those doesn’t take away from what I have experienced. If you live in denial of reality, how can you truly be happy?

My opinions and perspectives on death can be attributed to many things, like my parents, my own self reflection, and my experiences. As I sit here writing this, I have one particular memory that keeps hovering at the edge of my thoughts.

Freshman year of high school one of my closer friends, Nabila, died from drowning under a pool cover. There is nothing quite like tragedy to shock your system into reckoning with things you might not have otherwise. The loss of a friend who had so much potential and at such a young age has made me come to terms with the fact that future life is not guaranteed. My own acceptance of death and uncertain future came about as my way of processing that grief. Seeing life and death the way I do now allows me to see Nabila’s life as full and meaningful in its own right, and puts my grappling with grief in terms that I understand and don’t fear.

Not being afraid to think about the undeniable fact that I will die helps me really make use of the present. I can’t think of a better way to motivate yourself to live life to the fullest. I should point out, however, that I’m not frantically filling every moment with something. There’s a difference between fear motivated and acceptance motivated “living life to the fullest.” It’s up to you to learn that distinction for yourself.

With that said, are you ready to die?